Age of Exploration Hair

Once Europe got over being medieval the Age of Exploration was just waiting to happen. All they had to do was kill a few Albigensians and set fire to the Moriscos.

The Age of Exploration started out looking much like the Middle Ages, without the funny shoes. This was a long-haired age. It was an era of manly men. They had no time for such fripperies as putting a soup bowl over the head and cutting off everything that stuck out, as men had done in the more liesurely Middle Ages. They just shoved it out of the way and tied it up, by Gad, sir!

Queen Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry VIII by Anne Boleyn. Henry had Anne's head chopped off while Elizabeth was still a girl, and she barely escaped the same fate at the hands of her sister, Queen Mary.

Queen Elizabeth remained unmarried throughout her long reign, probably because all the royalty who wanted to marry her only wanted her for her body and all the commoners were afraid she would have their heads chopped off. Queen Elizabeth's subjects called her Good Queen Bess, except for the ones she had killed.

Not having any children, Elizabeth left her throne to King James of Scotland. James was an interesting man with a liking for funny hats and practical jokes. He was suspected of being sympathetic to the Papists, even though he was the one who had the Bible translated and he was head of the Church of England.

King James is suspected of being the one who introduced the gene for stupidity into the English royal line. It's an historical fact that very few of his subjects ever said to each other, "Y'know, Percy, ye king's a really smart fellow! "That probably accounts for Guy Fawkes, too.

Sir Walter Raleigh was a mighty sea-farin' man, a swashbuckler, explorer, a gallant and a poet. He introduced England to chocalate and tobacco and King James had his head chopped off. In another generation or two men began wearing wigs. There may be some correlation, but we can't find it.

Ivan the Terrible was the one who consolidated the power of the Tsar in Russia. He believed in the divine right of kings. To make sure everyone else did, too, he killed everyone who disagreed with him. He was so Terrible, in fact, that he killed a lot of people who did agree with him. After taking over the state in 1565 he carried out a seven year program of atrocities, deportations and mass executions. In 1581 he killed his eldest son in the midst of a temper tantrum. This was not a nice man, no matter what people say.

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