| When people stopped wearing wigs at the beginning of the Age of Invention, someone decided to invent pomade. Originally made from olive oil, bear grease or lard, with a bit of scent to bring the price above a dollar (adjusted for inflation), pomade finally allowed hair to be controlled. Once hair was under control, and as long as they were in the age of invention anyway, people became more, well, inventive with how they wore their hair. | |
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After the turmoil of the Revolution and the Napoleonic Era, the French needed quiet and stability in their lives. So they reinstituted the Bourbon monarchy. Then they ran out of cake and decided to have another revolution in 1830. In a move of sheer brilliance, they made Louis Phillippe king because he had a nice uniform and his hair was divine. Louis Phillippe lasted through the next revolution, in 1848. He finally said to hell with it and went to live in England; maybe the food wasn't as good, but at least nobody tried to kill him. |
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General George Armstrong ("Yellow Hair") Custer
graduated last
in his class at West Point. He served with distinction in the Civil
War, his units having enormously high casualty rates. He was made a brevet (acting)
general during the war.
Commanding a force of 264 men, he attacked 5,000 angry Lakota, Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians at the Little Bighorn.When he was being scalped by Indians General Custer sure wished he'd studied harder at West Point. |
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General Ambrose Burnside
is a member of two exclusive historical clubs:
like Madame Pompadour and Fernando Ducktail, his name is associated
with a distinctive hairstyle. And like
General Tso
and Colonel Sanders,
he is much better remembered for that than for his accomplishments on
the field of battle. Only he couldn't cook. Curiously, the American Civil War also gave us General Joseph Hooker, another military hero whose name became synonymous with non-military activities. It's sad that the Union Army was unsuccessful in recruiting Joseph Crapper to lead troops at Antietam. They could have been three for three. |
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